Life Will Teach Us
Suzanne completed a presentation on the spirituality of suffering. Agnes, the senior of the workshop participants, turned to Charlotte and asked. “Has Suzanne suffered much?”
Charlotte responded: “I don’t think so. Life has been quite gracious to her. I don’t recall her walking through tragedy or other deep suffering. Why do you ask?”
“I didn’t think so. She has the right words and ideas as she talks about suffering and spirituality, but I don’t sense that she is speaking out of personal suffering that would give her words greater impact.”
Charlotte questioned: “Are you going to give Suzanne this feedback?”
“No. Over time, life will teach her.”
“Life will teach her.” Agnes’ statement nudged me to conduct a mini-survey of people with the questions: What has caused you suffering? What have you learned through the suffering you have experienced in your life? In response to the first question, some suffered the loss of a person significant to them. For some, transitions brought the pain of disorientation, loss of the familiar, and questions of their own identity. Failure left some feeling unstable. When the doctor announced the word, cancer, his words became a rock thrown into the windshield, cracking it and impairing the driver’s vision—now and for the future. Financial challenges caused worry and insecurity for some families. Fire snuffed out a family’s home, turning to ashes mementos of the past, along with the grounding for their present and future. Some noted that boredom, chronic pain, depression added the burden of a loss of purpose. Several noted that broken relationships left scarred hearts.
“Life will teach her.” Again, the question: “What have I learned. . . observed through suffering?” As I have become older, I have learned important lessons through what I am experiencing: patience, endurance, vulnerability, grieving, reaching out for support, setting priorities, new skills. It is important to face and experience suffering. Rather than dull or smother it, I need to let myself feel it, to walk through it. Gratitude has become part of the air I breathe. I’m grateful for everyday gifts such as the amusing actions of children during a church service, a psalm verse that reminds me that suffering can bring me to God’s ways (Ps. 119:71), the aroma of baking bread, the shade of a tree offering relief from the torturous sun. I have learned to trust God’s care and help, letting this realization win over my frustration and anger about my suffering.
“Life will teach us.” Agnes offers her wisdom to all of us. Her insight also challenges us to live mindfully, attentive to what we are experiencing and what we can learn. More questions seek our answers: “Am I open to suffering? Am I willing to keep turning its pages to learn lessons it can teach me?”
Mary Reuter, OSB
