Never a Bad Word Did She Say
I’ve heard it said: “Never a bad word did I ever hear her say about another person.” This was spoken about my grandma Alice. Looking back, I believe it. Quiet, unassuming, tenderly compassionate, barely a rise out of her lest she wave her hand a time or two. Pretty sure a complaint did escape once when I leaned in close. “Work, work, work. That’s about all we ever did.”
Not sure if that was a complaint or she was just stating a fact, but I can tell you one thing about this topic for certain. For certain, they won’t be able to say this about me. It’s not that I haven’t wished to have a peaceful quiet spirit like she as there are moments I do. Quiet time in prayer helps create a peaceful countenance, but as soon as I’m off and running, things at hand can begin to look out of hand and peace be still is nowhere to be found.
No wonder those who have gone before us have chosen time away in the desert all hermit like. Truth is though, even in desert moments, there are battles raging. Attacks from enemy lines begin to blur between the seen and unseen forces at work. Not guilty will not be the final words said as within does churn remnants of “As the World Turns.”
I remember well watching mom enjoying this particular soap opera back in the day as she stood at the ironing board glancing up now and again. Not much different than the news I suppose when one thing leads to the next and soon hook line and sinker we are sunk. Into the lives of others, we go—and I don’t know about you, but sometimes I tend to submit an opinion here and there. That’s about all it takes now adays to stir things up. Soon, the opinions about what others think about your opinion can light a flame under the crash and burn pile gaslighting the most innocent of conversations.
What’s all this have to do with Grandma Alice and her wisdom of not speaking negatively about others? As I pondered, I came to the conclusion that wisdom lies in recognizing the difference between speaking up about something and speaking about another. When a voice in the wilderness speaks, it must be out of love rather than out of wanting to be right. When delivering our thoughts to others we must gently respect the other as someone also created in the image of God. Perhaps that’s what made grandma Alice the gentle soul she was. She tenderly cared not only about others, but how she delivered what it was she had to say.
Perhaps Grandma Alice prayed about each encounter she had with others. Witnessing her several times on bended knee was proof positive that this could have been, most certainly, true. While all are called to pray, sometimes we just don’t. Sometimes our words spill right on out before we realize just how heated we are about any given topic. When they do come rolling on out, asking for forgiveness is not only an option, but the best option.
May we gently discern the words we speak and may they line up with His Word. “May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable to You, oh Lord” (Psalm 19:14). Amen.
Kathleen Kjolhaug, OblSB
This article was first published in Theology in the Trenches, a column written by oblate Kathleen Kjolhaug. Posted with permission. Read more articles on her blog, Theology in the Trenches.
