The Gift of Gratitude
Remember the thank-you notes you wrote as a child to your grandparents, aunts and uncles? Remember the joy of receiving a thank-you card from someone? This reflection explores the meaning and benefits of gratitude.
Gratitude, thankfulness or appreciation is a virtue often practiced after something good is received. Usually, one responds to the giver in writing, verbally or through body language. Sometimes, simple gestures are significant signs of gratitude: a warm handshake, a heart hug, a wink of the eye, a peck on the cheek, a pat on the back, or a contagious smile.
One acknowledges a time of happiness, a moment of grace, and blessings. When one gives to someone close to oneself, it is a way to share friendship. When one gives to a cause, the gift serves and helps unknown others. God is at the heart of a giving person’s generosity, the good deed. To be grateful for things, no matter how small they may be, is to open oneself to ongoing receptiveness—you end up having more.
Gratitude can be the aftermath of forgiveness, such as in the Eucharist when we pray: “Lord, have mercy!” While we are asking for forgiveness, we are already thanking God for Divine Mercy. As the Eucharistic Prayer begins, the first words are “…for all things and at all times give thanks to our gracious God.” The psalms are also examples of thankfulness: “I recall your awesome deeds … I reflect on all You have done” (Psalm 77).
God is at the source of a grateful person’s attitude. Grateful people are inclined to enable God to guide their lives. Researchers have proven that gratitude is not only good in itself, but it is also a foundation for cultivating hope. When that hope is fulfilled, happiness follows, and that feeling promotes gratitude.
How do we learn to develop a grateful heart and mind? Appreciating and living fully in each moment as it is gifted to us sets the stage for developing a grateful heart and mind. Another important aspect of becoming a thankful person is to practice resilience. When bad stuff happens to a person, there are methods available to focus on the positive rather than the negative. The most effective is a daily, concrete practice of expressing gratitude.
This practice can be as simple as having a Gratitude Jar. Each evening, write one to three good things that happened that day and put the papers in a jar. Other people write a short thank-you note to someone who showed them kindness. You can mail it or just keep it. A third way is to keep a gratitude journal. Each night, write three things that brought you joy that day. Then, after each joy-bringer, write why it caused you joy. A thankfulness activity can change one’s life!
What about the non-desirable or even tragic events in one’s day? It’s hard to be thankful for them! The secret is to accept everything as part of God’s plan. If the situation seems hopeless or the outcome is not what one hoped for, choosing acceptance is a form of gratitude: “God’s ways are not my ways.” As well, judging and blaming others for things which one cannot control detracts from gratitude. Counter this feeling by recalling all the good things done for and to self from others. This positive remembering will prevent one from going down the slippery slide of the “pity-me syndrome.”
The trials of aging can also detract from gratitude, instead fostering discouragement and frustration. It might be tempting to lament what has been lost. Instead, switch your thinking to all still doable skills and activities and choose to fill your time with happiness and gratitude for the past and the present.
The graces of Baptism remain with us for a lifetime. We cannot earn or purchase them. These graces are there when all is going as humanly planned as well as when obstacles seem insurmountable. As Norman Vincent Peale says: “The more you practice the art of thankfulness, the more you have to be thankful for.”
Maribeth Theis, OSB
This article was featured on pages 20–21 in the spring 2025 issue of Benedictine Sisters and Friends.
